Family Man: A Teen Father Tries to Embrace His New Role - washingtonpost.com

This story is a great portrait of the kind of family life that a lot of my work as a family lawyer, unfortunately, comes out of. It points out, and shows, how hard it is to maintain both partners' commitment in an unwed cohabitation/parenthood relationship. I really hope that this young couple makes it, and that the publicity does more good than harm to them.

Family Man: A Teen Father Tries to Embrace His New Role - washingtonpost.com.

Sensei's Sharon Nelson: GOVERNOR SANFORD'S E-MAIL: WHY DO FOLKS DO THIS TO THEMSELVES?

GOVERNOR SANFORD'S E-MAIL: WHY DO FOLKS DO THIS TO THEMSELVES?.

Glenn Stanton: Five Things You Don't Know Fathers Do

Epoch Times - Five Things You Don't Know Fathers Do

Overall this is very wise and makes important points. Readers may quibble about a particular father's effect on his children, or that mothers can do the same things, but in the big picture, this article is very true.

Kids with ADHD need to fidget, study says

Kids with ADHD need to fidget, study says

Octomom Nadya Suleman sued by celeb lawyer Gloria Allred for exploiting her babies

Octomom Nadya Suleman sued by celeb lawyer Gloria Allred for exploiting her babies.

This goofy lawsuit makes me ashamed of the legal profession -- but I should add that it's also completely unconnected with the job, ethical duties, and social role of lawyers as I learned it in law school and in my career.

It also is an attack on our First Amendment freedoms -- it claims that if your parenting is in the news for some reason -- as it unfortunately often is for so many people -- you can't have the news media come to your home and show you doing your parenting job without enrolling your kids in the actors union?

As for all the other things that are wrong with it, I couldn't say it better than my good friend and colleague, and now guest-blogger, Doug Sanderson, who practices family law, real estate and business law with McCandlish & Lillard in Fairfax, Virginia:
-----
Great move by Ms. Allred and her "client," Paul Petersen.  (Note:  
sarcasm.)  As if -- putting aside whether the questions she raises merit discussion in some forum -- either of them ought to be found to have standing to bring a claim like this.

This kind of attack really scares me, simply in my capacity as member of society.  Sure, OctoMom comes off to me as a few cards short of a full deck, so to speak.  That means she can be subjected to defending her decisions to STRANGERS, in Court???  OK, where do we draw the line.  I don't like the way my neighbor makes his kids go to church every morning because it makes them more tired for school and this will hurt society.  I think I'll sue him.  Or:  I think the way that other neighbor lets his kids play in the street endangers them when cars come by.  I think I'll sue him, too.  In fact, I'll sue everyone whose approaches to child-raising are different from mine, because mine are "normal" and theirs aren't, and varying from the mainstream makes one subject to court proceedings and the obligation to defend oneself or one loses rights.  This is our country today?

Freedom of speech, and thinking one is doing something beneficial for society by raising an issue of concern, are great.  But forcing a person to defend herself in Court simply for the act of being out of the mainstream is far beyond that, and is itself an abuse that the courts should not tolerate.  I do hope this case is tossed, and that Gloria is ordered to pay Suleman's costs! But that doesn't mean that governmental interests shouldn't monitor these 14 kids' wellbeing, if and as provided by statutory laws and any properly enacted regulations.

Gloria, give me a break!
-- -- --
Douglas J. Sanderson
McCandlish & Lillard, P.C.
11350 Random Hills Road, Suite 500
Fairfax, Virginia 22030-7429
Telephone: (703) 934-1122

Advice From the Trenches: Advice From the Trenches A prominent divorce attorney offers her 10 Commandments of how to avoid a breakup.

Advice From the Trenches | Jewish Journal.
By the great divorce lawyer and hands-on marriage saver,  Lynne Gold-Bikin.

D.C. Council Votes to Recognize Other States' Gay Marriages - washingtonpost.com

D.C. Council Votes to Recognize Other States' Gay Marriages - washingtonpost.com.

Vermont legislature enacts "Freedom to Marry" bill over governor's veto

pdf of Bill as Passed by Both House and Senate

Adultery, paternity fraud don’t affect property division in New York.

New York’s statute on property division in divorce generally does not make marital fault (i.e., violence, desertion, adultery or “extreme cruelty”) a factor justifying an unequal division of property, but it does have a general provision saying the court can look at “any other factor” that may be “just and proper” to consider when deciding how to divide property.  Under the 1984 Blickstein case, fault can only be considered if it is “so egregious or uncivilized as to bespeak of [sic] a blatant disregard of the marital relationship – misconduct that ‘shocks the conscience’ of the court thereby compelling it to invoke its equitable power to do justice between the parties.”  The New York appellate division now cites and applies these rules (in Howard S. v. Lillian S., N.Y. App. Div. 1st Dept. 3/17/09) to say that they cannot be used against a woman who had an affair and pretended that the resulting child was her husband’s for several years before the couple finally separated. 

Justice Helen E. Freeman points out that the only cases where behavior has affected property division have involved extreme violence, attempted murder, rape, kidnapping or protracted and severe physical abuse.  Earlier cases have found adultery, alcoholism, abandonment, verbal harassment and “minor domestic violence” to not be egregious enough to affect property division. 

Justice Eugene Nardelli dissents, but his reason is certainly a sign o’ the times: it’s not the cheating or the lying, it’s the wife’s “willingness to play fast and loose with the health of her child by knowingly misleading his health care providers as to his true genetic background, thereby providing a ... false medical history, and then refusing to rectify the situation when asked to do so,” which “contravenes ... paramount social values.”  Well, I guess that’s what you call values clarification. The majority opinion counters that there was not any record of the wife actually making any misrepresentations to health care providers. Wife said she did not know that the child was her lover’s and not her husband’s, and the husband claimed she “knew or should have known”, which would seem to indicate that he didn’t have any actual evidence that she knew. Do “paramount social values” require a woman in this situation to get her newborn DNA-tested?

Realtors' Informal "Appraisals" Criticized

Kenneth R. Harney - What Might Be Hurting Home Values - washingtonpost.com

Family law clients often want to use informal estimates from realtors instead of an appraisal. This article points out the problems with that.

American Psychological Association Revises Guidelines for Child Custody Evaluations

This APA press release  has a link to a pdf of the new guidelines but does not describe the substantive changes. The old guidelines were very useful as official professional condemnation of several role-blurring and unprofessional practices that we used to see in family courts.


Clinton intervenes in Goldman child abduction case

Clinton intervenes in US-Brazil custody case.

If I read the quotation from the Today show correctly, she has adoption mixed up with abduction and custody, but that doesn't matter, she's doing the right thing.

G.K. Chesterton book on divorce released as free download in audio, pdf, e-book etc.

My Google article finder brought me this today; G.K. Chesterton’s book on divorce, The Superstition of Divorce, has been released as a free download. It is available as an audio book or as a pdf and in many other e-book formats.

I haven’t read it, but G.K. Chesterton is one of my favorite authors and one of the wisest observers of our struggles with tradition and modernity, and the subjects of divorce and family call out for his kind of humane wisdom as much now as they did when he was alive. I look forward to reading or listening to it.

AFP: Court overturns father's grounding of 12-year-old

AFP: Court overturns father's grounding of 12-year-old.

Lawyer Neal Kennedy from Austin passed this along. It's from Canada and I don't THINK it could happen in the U.S., but these days, who knows?

Food Nazi Moms

This is making the rounds on one of my listservs of family lawyers. Although as one of them pointed out, it's probably true that there are some particular food additives that can make things worse for kids who already have ADD, ADHD, hyperactivity etc.

My War Against Food Nazi Moms 

Some information, some misinformation about Japan and the Hague Convention

International Family Law News & Analysis: Japanese opinion article with some new information, some misinformation on Hague Convention.

This item in the Mainichi Daily News has what may be some news about whether Japan will enter the Hague Convention. The author favors the Convention for very good reasons, but is not completely well-informed about it.

He also quotes a lawyer who makes preposterous claims about child abduction: That 90% of abductors are fleeing from domestic violence or child abuse. (In my experience as a lawyer working on abduction cases, it's more like 1%, and the Convention has exceptions for such cases).

Even more ridiculous is his claim that "when the Japanese women come back to  Japan ... the voice of  the man saying, 'Give me back my child,' tends to be heard louder." Heard louder? It's not heard at all. The Japanese courts and authorities have never given ANYTHING to abduction victims, not even visitation. And abduction victims are not all men, and not all non-Japanese.

Read the article at International Family Law News & Analysis.

Marry Goyim, Get Bupkis.

Link: Law Blog - WSJ.com : Marry Goyim, You Get Bupkis; Illinois Court Strikes 'Jewish Clause'.

Illinois dentist Max Feinberg's will said that any of his grandchildren who married non-Jews would get nothing. An Illinois appeals court ruling  has nullified that part of the will, saying it's "contrary to public policy". 

The great majority of the commenters on the Wall Street Journal's blog post on this are absolutely right: No one has a right to inherit except for a spouse; Mr. Feinberg was free to do whatever he wanted with his money, and while that is usually a merely statutory right, one so time-honored (since the 14th Century) that it is like common law, in this case it is also the free exercise of religion.

As one of the WSJ commenters said, "it is not the public’s money, and therefore has nothing to do with public policy."

New form required for divorced spouses to get military pension survivor benefit

Military family law guru Mark Sullivan of Raleigh tipped me off about this. This new form will become the only way to elect military survivor benefit coverage in a divorce. Its use is mandatory after Sept. 30, 2008 but it can be used even before that. The form, like the informal letters that were used for this in the past, is subject to a one-year deadline, which Mark describes as follows:

The application for SBP coverage is governed by two deadlines.  If the
member/retiree applies for coverage, the deadline is one year from the date of divorce.  If the spouse/former spouse requests coverage, she must send in her court order requiring coverage within one year of the date of the order. The latter is called the "deemed election" process.

Link: Forms Catalog Document - DD Form2656-10 :-: DODDEP :-: Survivor Benefit Plan (SBP)/Reserve Component (RC) SBP Request for Deemed Election.

Judge Posner pens best-written Hague Convention opinion ever

Only four pages long.

Link: International Family Law News & Analysis: Judge Posner analyzes custody rights under foreign law in child abduction case.

Japanese panel recommends outlawing surrogate birth as international surrogacy case's difficulties make news

Link: International Family Law News & Analysis: Japanese panel recommends outlawing surrogate birth as international surrogacy case's difficulties make news.