24 Bills Affecting Family Law Get Through Both Houses, 4 Killed, More to Come

Here's how family law bills in Richmond stand after Feb. 20:

 Freshly killed in second house, after passing one house, since last post:

Highlights of what has passed both houses:

Signed by Governor, Enacted Into Law

Divorce

Support

Children

 Elder Law/Probate

Women's Liberation

Passed Both Houses, awaiting governor action OR conference committee -- Full List 

Marriage

 

 

 Children

Domestic Violence

 Elder Law/Probate

 Procedure

Passed One House, then Committee-Approved in Second House

Killed in first house (by any of several methods: Defeated, recommended not reporting, recommended tabling, carried over to next year, passed by indefinitely):

Marriage

Divorce

Support

Children

Domestic Violence

Elder Law/Probate

Procedure


Berkeley thug: Violence OK if they don't obey. Sounds like every wife-beater ever.

(And husband-beater.) I'm a divorce lawyer, so I should know. Masked Berkeley rioter Neil Lawrence makes the all-too-familiar argument that violence is OK when people don't shut up and obey even after you ask nicely:

"But when you consider everything that activists already tried — when mass call-ins, faculty and student objections, letter-writing campaigns, numerous op-eds (including mine), union grievances and peaceful demonstrations don’t work, when the nonviolent tactics have been exhausted — what is left? Of all the objections and cancellation requests presented to the administration, local government and local police, the only one that was listened to was the sound of shattering glass."

 in the Daily Californian, "Black bloc did what campus should have"

 


46 bills affecting family law have passed one house & "crossed over" to the other

Here's how family law bills in Richmond stand after Feb. 16:

Fresh kills since last post

Highlights of what has passed both houses:

Passed Both Houses, awaiting governor action OR conference committee 

Marriage

Women's Liberation

Divorce

Support

 Children

Domestic Violence

 Elder Law/Probate

 Procedure

Passed One House, then Committee-Approved in Second House

 Passed One House, then Subcommittee-Approved in Second House 

 Freshly killed in second house, after passing one house, since last post:

Killed in first house (by any of several methods: Defeated, recommended not reporting, recommended tabling, carried over to next year, passed by indefinitely):

Marriage

Divorce

Support

Children

Domestic Violence

Elder Law/Probate

Procedure


Richmond family law action on expat divorce, parenting time, voiding quitclaims, medical subpoenas, digital assets, spendthrifts

Bills that made progress since last post:

New killin' since last post:

Here's how bills stand after House and Senate Committees met on Jan. 25, in this order: (1) Approved by committee (2) Approved by subcommittee (3) Awaiting any committee or subcommittee action (4) Killed.

Approved by House or Senate:

Approved by Committee:

Approved by Subcommittee:

No action yet by any committee or subcommittee:

Marriage

Divorce

Support

Children 

Domestic Violence

Elder Law/Probate

 Procedure

Women's Lib

Killed (by any of several methods: Defeated, recommended not reporting, recommended tabling, carried over to next year, passed by indefinitely):


Va. legislature: More bills affecting families get through committee, more killed, more introduced

Here's how bills stand after House and Senate Committees met on Jan. 18, in this order: (1) Approved by committee (2) Approved by subcommittee (3) Awaiting any committee or subcommittee action (4) Killed.

Approved by Committee:

Approved by Subcommittee:

No action yet by any committee or subcommittee:

Marriage

Divorce

Support

Children 

Domestic Violence

Elder Law/Probate

 Procedure

Women's Lib

Killed (by any of several methods: Defeated, recommended not reporting, recommended tabling, carried over to next year, passed by indefinitely):


Va. legislature's committees weed out 9 family law & probate bills, approve 16, more to come

Here's how things stand after House and Senate Committees met on Jan. 18, in this order:

  1. Approved by committee.
  2. Approved by subcommittee.
  3. Not yet acted on by any committee or subcommittee. 
  4. Killed. by any of several methods: Defeated, recommended not reporting, recommended tabling, carried over to next year, passed by indefinitely.

Approved and Reported by Committee:

Approved and Reported by Subcommittee:

Not yet acted on by any committee or subcommittee:

Marriage

Divorce

Support

Children 

Domestic Violence

Elder Law/Probate

 Procedure

Women's Lib

Killed:


Why's the military so toxic for marriage AND divorce? The best-expressed and newest insights.

Carl Forsling repeats several often-heard, and quite true, observations about how the military is bad for marriage, plus some insights that are original but intuitively very convincing once he points them out. Which explain why it's also so hard on divorce.

"Divorce — it’s no stranger to those in the military. At the same time, the military is a very tradition-minded institution, so divorce is often treated like the family secret no one talks about. ... some commanders have very black and white attitudes in regards to marriage. ... surprisingly prevalent in an institution where divorce is commonplace. The military attracts strong personalities, and they tend to either be very religious with very traditional views of morality or very not."

Very true. I'm more familiar with the strong personalities who are very non-traditional about marriage -- well, they may be traditional and sentimental about it in some ways, but in ways that get them married five times and divorced four times, if they're lucky. And hopefully with a divorce between each marriage. Or divorced early and married never again. Sometimes getting taken advantage of royally, as they see it, in their first divorce, and then becoming determined that next time, and every next time, they will be the ones in the relationship with the power, the knowledge, the leverage and the manipulation. Whether that's in a divorce or in devoutly unwed cohabitation. 

On the other hand, there are many who are honorable and generous to a fault. Or who want what's best for their kids even if it isn't best for themselves. 

Many, whether honorable or manipulative, are gung-ho and unashamed of whatever course they're pursuing, in divorce, adultery or whatever. If they're war veterans, they usually have a sense of entitlement, understandably. The military rightly tells them that they and their jobs are important, and that the civilian world should accommodate them. They may see divorce and other family breakups as just part of the petty civilian-life BS that the military requires them to take care of, but that could never be compared in importance to their mission or their careers.

And yet again, there's another side of this: Timid careerists who are always looking over their shoulders. Junior officers who are expert at creating paper trails to shift blame and responsibility to others, and who think that will work for them in family court.

I've only recently begun to see the very religious and neo-traditional officers and servicemembers the author talks about, but I know they have been out there for quite a while now.

He has a refreshing point of view on a practice that is widespread, widely advised, encouraged by regulations, but which also can make civilian courts get really mad at spouses and treat them like stalkers who are trying to destroy the careers they have benefited from:

"On top of that, some hurt soon-to-be former spouses have in the past called up commanding officers and sergeants major, and in today’s “pro-family” military, those leaders usually picked up the phone to an earful of often highly exaggerated drama. Sometimes those senior leaders rightfully take it with a grain of salt. Other times, service members get chewed out or worse based on the spouse’s account of events that may or may not have happened as described. ... Many units now have “human factors” or “commander’s safety” councils, wherein members’ personal lives are aired out in the name of “safety.” Guess who gets talked about in those? In today’s environment, where the phrase “perception is reality” is too often said without irony, too many service members end up with their reputations tarred." 

(That's not just "in the past", by the way.)

As for two well-known factors that weaken military families, he describes them freshly and eloquently:

"Service members often marry young. Part of that is the rapid maturation the military forces on people, part of it is undoubtedly bad decisions based on housing allowance rates, and part of it is ironically likely the military’s old-fashioned views on marriage. Whatever the reason, marrying young is not a good indicator of matrimonial success."

"Add in the deployments, long hours, etc., and things don’t bode well for military couples. There are some marriages that thrive despite the challenges — as those in the military are fond of saying, 'What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger.' For others, though, what doesn’t kill them severely damages their relationships."

Another factor Forsling doesn't mention: The continuing reluctance to seek mental health treatment for reputation and career reasons. That has been a huge problem in many of my cases.

He concludes: 

The military has made a big push to be more family friendly in recent years. ... As it tries to be better for traditional families, it needs to improve the culture for non-traditional ones, as well."

That's so true. Our society needs to understand that being pro-family means strengthening intact nuclear families, but also honoring all family bonds and strengthening what's left of "broken" families too. 

The Military’s Problem With Marriage

 

Dubious Restraining Orders Hit Both Sexes, Mr. Zipper's Case Shows

Washington, DC and Fairfax, Virginia trial lawyer Trey Mayfield brought this New York Post item to my attention. There may be major facts missing from the article, but it makes it sound like Mr. Zipper filed for a restraining order because he couldn't quit making up with his ex-girlfriend and ending up sleeping with her. He did that as late as September, shortly before filing for the restraining order, and the only allegation that sounds anything like domestic violence is the lady's threat to burn his boat, back in July. On that occasion "she began throwing vases and ashtrays and all kinds of nice stuff in the pool" -- but not at him. (He was running away in his pajamas at the time, so he wasn't in the pool.) 

But there are men -- and women -- every day who get hit with at least temporary restraining orders based on claims like these, which range from at best borderline to downright absurd.

The only truly actionable behavior (the threat to burn his boat, assumably but not expressly with him perhaps on board, although he wasn't on it at the time, because he was running out of the house in his pajamas) was long before the repeated makeup sex, and the filing. That kind of delay does, in my experience, discourage judges from being so alarmed by it that they will grant a permanent restraining order. But they still could and often do. After all, we hear very often, and quite legitimately, about women who are afraid to leave their abusers and only do so long after the actual, and very severe, violence has been temporarily replaced by threats which are bone-chilling even when unspoken.

Too much makeup sex led to millionaire’s restraining order

By Julia MarshNew York Post November 26, 2014