The Family Law News Blog

You can't perform a legally binding marriage with an online fake ordination: So what else is new?

Yesterday's Philadelphia Inquirer (see the continuation of this post, courtesy of the Smart Marriages listserv) has one of those stories that family lawyers notice so often in the media, that takes something that has been going on for decades in the courts and labels it an alarming new trend. This time it's that states don't recognize marriages performed by people with mail-order fake ordinations as clergy. That has always been the rule, but now many of them are online ordinations instead of mail-order ones, and supposedly that's somehow different.

This is an area where the line between church and state is very narrow and twisty, but it has been in place for 30 or 40 years and has been very stable. It has been articulated in case law and is laid out in statutes whose wording varies between states, but basically, if something that looks and acts like a religion, with enough people exclusively involved in it even to have a wedding, names you some kind of leader and authorizes you to perform marriages, then the state authorizes it, too, automatically.

Some states, like my own, let people apply for one-time authorization to perform the marriage of friends or relatives. Both my father and I have had the great honor and responsibility of doing this, with court orders in hand. Conversely, even the great pastor and musician Andrae Crouch once caused a legal snafu here in my hometown of Arlington, Va. because he is an out-of-state clergyman and he didn't get a court order before marrying four couples at a shopping mall.

New group says immigration laws tear families apart

Link: New group says immigration laws tear families apart

Attempt to end alimony because of sex change

I'd be interested to see if other lawyers differ, but I can't see how a sex change could have any effect on alimony.
(1) Alimony laws are gender-neutral.
(2) Grounds for ending alimony include death and remarriage, which many courts and some legislatures interpret to include cohabitation that is economically similar to married life. A sex change does not necessarily have anything to do with that.

The real story behind Miller-Jenkins

Although it's about a very public case involving a same-sex civil union, this Washington Post Magazine story is a great window into what actually goes on with the mothers and grandparents involved in high-conflict interstate custody fights, not just same-sex cases. It's painfully similar to many of the cases I have had. It tells the story of family and personal trauma and disorganization that began long before the litigants in Miller-Jenkins v. Miller-Jenkins, 49 Va. App. 87, 637 SE2d 330 (2006) met each other.

Gay or straight, cohabitation ends alimony

A recent Virginia Court of Appeals decision emphasizes that the courts will enforce Virginia's legislation cutting off alimony when the recipient has a live-in partner, and that it doesn't matter whether the new relationship is gay or straight. The statute specifies that the cohabitation must be for one year in a "relationship analogous to marriage." The Court says that "analogous" does not mean "identical to marriage in every respect", and it also shows that it does not work to stay apart for a few days a year to try to keep the one year from running. My full analysis of the case and a link to the opinion are at http://familylaw.typepad.com/virginiafamilylawappeals/2007/03/separation_agre_19.html

UK reforms include new 'divorce' rights for unmarried couples

New 'divorce' rights for unmarried couples -- The Guardian 10/31/06

This article describes major family law reforms proposed by England's government. One is removing the secrecy -- or privacy, depending on how you view it -- of family court proceedings. Another is imposing something similar to alimony, property division and pension division on some unmarried couples who split up. I find such proposals very troubling because they essentially impose the divorce-law consequences of the marriage choice on people who have not chosen marriage.

Family law judge shot

Reno, Nevada family law judge Chuck Weller was shot in his office on June 12, 2006, allegedly  by a man angered by a ruling in his divorce action.    The shooting of Judge Weller points to an alarming phenomenon in which those involved in emotional and acrimonious cases are taking their frustrations out on the judges. Similar shootings of judges and parties to divorce actions, as well as divorce lawyers, have taken place in California courts.

The suspect, Darren Mack, is a multmillionaire father of three whose relatives say he was deeply upset over Weller's rulings in his divorce case.  He is accused of murdering his wife, on the same day.  He is presently a fugitive.

This event gives new weight and meaning to the oft-quoted remark of retired family law judge and appellate justice Donald King, that "family law court is where they shoot the survivors." 

Collaborative lawyers emphasize that it is the nature of court proceedings to have winners and losers, and the nature of trial advocacy to pit litigants against one another using extreme arguments and extreme requests for relief.  Few couples begin a divorce wanting the kind of irreversible collateral damage that typically results from contested court proceedings.

Read more about the shooting of Judge Weller at:

http://abcnews.go.com/WNT/story?id=2086555.

Find out more about collaborative divorce, a peaceful and respectful way to reach resolution in divorce entirely outside the court system, at  www.lawtsf.com and www.collaborativedivorcebook.com.

India confronts dangers of overseas arranged marriages

This article describes many "horror stories" from international arranged marriages, including many where at least one spouse lives in the U.S. I'm glad people want to do something about this. Arranged marriage has some strengths, but people in less developed countries who choose it, for themselves or for their children, need to realize that these marriages will still face a much more complicated, unstable environment that they would have in past generations, especially if the couple will live in the U.S. This fact should inform the decision of whether to seek such a marriage, what to ask about and look for in a spouse, and the preparation for marriage. And no matter how well-matched a couple may be, marriage skills training can help.